The Times They Are A-Changing…

19 Sep

Hi there, Hola, Aloha, Bonjourno, Shalom, Jinisa, Hai, Guten Tag, Konnichi Wa, hello to you in every language I can think of.

This blog is a way for me to deal with change, something which I will rarely admit that I struggle with. For 12 months I am facing something that I can’t remember doing before; I have a year to deal with anything I want. I’ve finished college, got my grades, have a plan that begins in the September of 2011 but what happens before then is completely up to me.

I’ve become a straggler, the majority of my peers and friends have gone on to University or into work full-time and I chose to take some time out to breathe a little. It wasn’t imposed but at the same time it wasn’t forbidden. I could pretend that it was planned, but in truth it was a split-second decision that I just kind of ran with. So I find myself facing everything and nothing, in a self-imposed exile from the almost natural progression of education that I have prevented myself following, if only for a year. And so, I am left with the decision, now that I have very little restrictions, what am I going to do with myself for a whole year?

I could go travelling and I honestly would love to volunteer and see the world a little; sadly I lack the funding or the personal funds to make this come to pass. I could get an internship however it seems the great media, publishing and editors of this world don’t think much of a school leaver who just wants to do something useful and worthwhile with their time. Well that’s the response I’m
taking from the lack of replies. Let’s be honest, zero replies. Work is my last and most feesible option, which I am already fulfilling and pounding away every single hour that my present employer can offer me. However good money will be, for something to deplete in my first year of living alone and studying, the prospect of not seeing much of the light of day so I can get less in debt in the long run just isn’t that appealing.

I’m not sure if this move to stay where I am for the time being is avoiding change, or creating it. Am I embracing change? Not really, I’m putting off emails and plans that I really should put into motion, but can’t quite motivate myself to get up and do it. It may be different once (practically) everyone has gone and I’m left with much more time to think it through. As I don’t have anything else to do.

I’ll try to restrain from moaning here. I’m honestly not sure if this is going to be read, what use is this for anyone else? And to be honest, I don’t mind if it isn’t read by anyone else too much. Not at the moment anyway. This is, after all, just an account of how I’m living now.

Don’t expect anyone to bare the burden or run your race with you. Be prepared to go alone.


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